Reflection.

I have debated over and over to myself whether to post this or not. I don't want to seem vain, or even seem ungrateful by any means. I really don't want to come across that way at all to you.

On Pinterest, I've seen tons of cute swimsuits that are so vibrant and fun, and lots in the store as well. With weather in the mid 90s in this beautiful Treasure Valley,  its time to hit the lakes and pools as temperatures continue to spike. The other day I decided to try on a fringy frilly swimsuit, which lead to lots of tears as I saw the mirror's reflection.

I am beyond grateful to be a mommy,  and I wouldn't trade it for the whole world. It changes you, in lots of ways. You ignite a part of your heart you've never used before,  you learn a sense of selflessness,  and the ultimatum of putting one's needs before your own. It changes you mentally,  AND I now realized physically.

My self-esteem has gone to crap lately. I've been working out on my own at home,  eating healthy, and trying to be active a lot. Its hard to see little to no results. It can't help that someone referred to me as the "fat oldest Smith girl" the other day. Hank has been a huge help. He is constantly complimenting me and assuring my self confidence,  but I wish I could believe it about myself too.

Please don't think all I care about is my looks, I would hate for you to get that impression. I just think every girl should love herself and see her own beauty, but right now I really don't. :|