I don't know how to write this post other than in the random sentences of feelings that have jumbled my brain lately. So much has been going on for me, and I haven't found the words to say.
So here's my effort to jot down these thoughts.
I am 23, almost 24.
Wow, that scares me.
The older I got, the more confident and sure of myself I thought I'd become.
That is far from how I feel.
In fact, it terrifies me.
I feel as if life is racing, in fact, whirling by me, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've never felt this unsure or attached from myself.
I've never felt this scared or anxious.
I've grown weary and hopeless in the thought of finding a "career" and actually "loving it" and being "successful" at it.
I've grown depressed in the fact that I do not love myself, and there are very little things I like about myself.
I'm scared that I am slowly losing myself.
I'm secretly scared I will not ever have the opportunity of more children.
I'm just....living....scared.
xoxo, kess
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