Lost.

...I guess that's the best word to fit the title for this post right about now. I am truly lost in my life.

...at a loss with time

...at a loss with patience

...at a loss with hope

...at a loss as a wife

...at a loss with finances

...at a loss with relationships

just, lost.

Lately, I really haven't been "me". I feel as if my usual "positive, cheerful, friendly, smiling" self is of the past, and I look at the mirror and think, "Where has that girl gone?" "Where is Kessie?"

To be honest, I don't know, and it saddens me.

I feel like life has been repeatedly been wearing on me, and little by little the smiles have been wearing off as well. I feel as if women are supposed to be the strong, firm, steady constant; we have this perception that we are supposed to nurture and love with our full hearts. As much as that is my passion, I feel like my heart has been running on empty, and just as a car, when running on empty things wear and fall apart, and bigger problems arise.

I'm stressed.

I'm sad.

I'm drained. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

I don't know how I can fight this battle much longer with no ammo. Goodness, just typing this I'm annoyed at my bitter, cynical self :(

This isn't me.

I need to find me.

-Kess