Thank God, it's Friday ♥

I shuffle to the car, buckle in the carseat as Henry fusses (he hates his carseat!), move Ernie to the passenger seat, set the diaper bag and my wallet down, and start the car. I shut the door of my car and safe in that space, I cry the ugly cry. The mascara-smearing-nose-running-people-at-stoplights-are-staring cry. "I cannot keep up with my life today." I think to myself.

Then the unexpected happens.

 My sister, Kaitlyn, calls, telling me a funny story about her trying to pump gas at a station out of town, first pulling up to old gas pumps, then having to go back and forth several times to the clerk counter because it wouldn't read her card; for the second time, tears stream down my face.But this time it’s because I’m doing the mascara-smearing-nose-running-people-at-other-tables-are-staring laugh.

Later that night I realized God graciously gave me exactly what I needed. Sometimes our hearts don’t need a lecture or advised. What they need is to laugh. I wrote this on a post-it and stuck it to my mirror:

Laughter is a form of worship. It’s our soul’s way of saying, “I surrender to being human.”

God knows we are human. We’re the ones who tend to forget. Laughter is one way He reminds us. It changes our perspective, helps us move forward, opens up our hearts again. It’s “good medicine” for the heart {Prov. 17:22}.

Laughter that comes from a place of humility and grace is holy and healing.

We all need our daily dose–and sometimes a little extra.

There will come a day, an hour, a moment when you say: “I’ve had enough.”

Who knows what may push you to the edge…another disappointment, someone cutting you off in traffic {or on the journey to your dreams}, opening the cupboard to find someone has taken the last cookie.

What’s important to know is that we all go to that place.

Quitting in other words can be, “I don’t want to be facing this right now.”

It’s human to grow weary.

It’s okay to want to give up.

It’s understandable to want to quit.

What matters isn’t avoiding those moments but instead learning to lean into them–or rather lean into the One who loves us.

“Yet not My will but Yours be done.”

When we tell ourselves, “I shouldn’t feel this way” then we cut ourselves off from the help we need.

Instead we can say, “I do feel this way. Now what do I need to get through this?”

It might be help from a friend.

It might be a reminder of Truth.

It might be a nap {yes, really}.

Fight the guilt. Fight the shame. Fight the temptation to believe no one else ever feels this way.

We all do.

And together with Jesus we will make it through.

Today is GOOD FRIDAY :)
...and to me that is the ultimate  "Thank God it's Friday!" :)
The day Someone took all our brokenness and gave us wholeness,
felt great hurt so we could have true healing,
said “It is finished” so we would never have to.
Let’s remember and celebrate and live like we know how much we’re loved!

Happy Easter to you :)

XOXO, Kess

Wordless Week. {Pocatello Trip}

I know, I know. The post is titled WORDLESS. But I thought I'd explain what I'm doing every time I do the Wordless Week post. It is a widely known thought that "a picture is worth a thousand words", and I couldn't agree more. Sometimes things don't need explanation and long, drawn-out stories. Sometimes, you can see it all in the picture :) So I'm going to start capturing pictures throughout the week and then putting up the post on the weekend :) So now that I've made this not wordless haha, you know what this is all about for future ones! Here it goes, here is the first Wordless Week Post:

 

The Tuesday Ten {vol 2}

  The Tuesday Ten...again! :)

1. Lullabies.

My sweet little Henry and I are in a little routine at night that melts my heart. We go sit in our recliner with the lights dimmed, I hold him in my arms tightly with his "boppy" pillow, and he wads my hair tightly in his fist by my face as we listen to music to put him to sleep. It's our special little bonding time; I don't mind staying up for those sleepy snuggles :) These are the two songs we listen to, and I honestly tear up every time. It's my favorite part of the day. :")

2. Johnny Cash

To say Henry is infatuated with Johnny Cash is an extreme understatement. I have always loved and listened to Johnny Cash, but oh man, not nearly as much as I have now! Henry bounces on my knee and we listen to "Get Rhythm", "Walk the Line", "Ring of Fire" and more. Hank and I know the songs backwards and forwards; we are getting pretty good at Johnny and June's pitches ;) We have to switch up the songs quite a bit, so now Henry listens to "Long-Legged Guitar-Pickin Man" while he swings. I believe we have a country boy in the making!

3. BIRTHDAY!

My birthday is this Saturday, "I don't know about you, but I'm feelin 22!" I love birthdays! Especially now that I'm a mommy, its neat to think 22 years ago I entered the world, and my mommy and daddy became parents. Its such a sentimental moment in life! I don't think we will be doing anything extravagant but it'll be a good day:)

4. New Sheriff in Town.

Hank's first day as a Dispatch Officer for Ada County was yesterday! I got up early to make him toast and eggs, pack a lunch, steam his clothes, and send him off! Poor kid, I made him take a picture and everything before he left; he was like the kindergartner being sent off to his first day of school! He came home feeling overwhelmed from all the newness and unfamiliar territory, describing it as "trying to take a drink from a fire hose" haha! Information overload! I just know he is bound to feel appreciated and successful there.

5. Months.

Henry is now 2 1/2 months old and weighs about 11lbs! What a cute little porker! I'm planning on taking pictures on the monthly mark so I can compare and see his growth over time. Isn't he cute??

My cutie pie is getting so big! Can you see a difference?? :)



6. Friends.

I could really use some prayer regarding this. I feel as if I outreach to the friends I have a lot, but I also want to pursue new friendships as well. I would say that if I was to rank myself in being social, one end being extreme social butterfly, and the other pure isolation, I'm probably in the middle...ish, leaning more towards the social side.  I just really want to meet new people, and living somewhere outside of my hometown is the perfect opportunity for that. I'm praying that maybe I can make some mommy friends, and have playdates. There are tons, I mean TONS, of mommy clubs in the Nampa/Boise area; I need to just put myself out there and give the opportunity a chance. :)

7.  Good Reads.



I truly love being a mommy: I love being HENRY'S mommy. I'm so grateful God gave that sweet little thing to me. And although it is truly the biggest blessing, it brings out a lot of stress. A fellow mommy and blogging friend of mine recommended this book to me, and it is an extreme encouragement. Its uplifting, honest, and a way to connect and be uplifted as mothers share their experiences and spiritual journey through parenthood. I HIGHLY recommend it, and will borrow it out once I'm finished :) (It's all highlighted and side-noted, hope you don't mind!)

8.

 

^This really is hitting home for me lately. Need to keep this as a daily affirmation to myself.

9. HANK or KESSIE??





Sweet punky is changing so much. When he was first born, he looked just like me, but now I'm seeing more of Hank in him. What characteristics of him are Hank? What are mine? Who does he look like most to YOU? :)

10. Blog.

So far I've been using this blog to be an outreach to others; I am so passionate about uplifting and helping people, as well as for updates on my little family and our day to day lives. I want and will try to keep it up doing both :)

XoXo, Kess <3

...and Henry of course!



Spilled Water.

The chaos of the lobby surrounded me. I was caught up in conversation and observing throughout the hustle and bustle of the lunch rush. It was my first day working at Arctic Circle, and throughout the midst of the training, I found myself discouraged trying to keep up. I had only been an employee for two hours, and I had managed to spill the entire bucket of mop water in the cooking station, and splattered ice cream everywhere from not holding a cup correctly in the milkshake machine.

My sweet coworker, Leslie, had rushed to my side to help, “It will be okay. I’ll show you better next time.” I remember her turning towards the customer side of the counter, offering an explanation, “She’s in training. First day's always the toughest!” They nodded in understanding, and continued placing orders.

Haven’t we all been that food server?

We start something new. Maybe a even a God-driven dream. We try so hard, and have such good intentions.

And then we mess up.

The temptation is to throw our apron on the floor and bolt out the door.

Or hide in the back for the rest of the shift.

Or somehow try to justify and say, “It’s not my fault.”

Those responses come from deep fears and false beliefs. We think that to be successful or help others we can’t mess up.

But I’m here to tell you the opposite is true: to be successful and help others you must mess up.

It’s the only way you learn.

And letting others see your mistakes helps them learn too.

So if you spill your mop bucket today, here’s what you can do…

Since you’re already on your knees, take a moment to pray and ask God for his perspective on this situation. If you are in the wrong, admit the fault, and make it right. If it’s simply a human mistake, ask what you can learn.

Then ‘fess up as quickly as possible to those who are watching. Say, “I’m in training. I don’t know how to do this but I want to learn. I need help.”

Then receive any feedback that’s offered, especially from those with more experience than you. And apply it.

If you spill the bucket again, repeat the process.

We all fail on our way to success.

There’s simply no other way to go about it.

If you look at someone and can’t see their “spill the bucket” moments it’s not because they don’t have them. It’s because they’re hiding them. And in doing so, they’re holding back a gift from you.

So let’s be generous with others by sharing our mistakes with them.

And gentle with ourselves by receiving the grace that God has freely given.

We’re all learning to serve together.

And one spilled bucket at a time, we’re getting better.

XoXo, Kess

Filled.

As a young girl, I longed for geniune friendships. I wanted friends who were compassionate to me, listened, loved, respected, and looked out for me.

 

 When this childhood/teen longing became unmet by constant disappointment by friendships coming apart, it became an emptiness and brokenness that drove me to seek out all kinds of misguided remedies.

 

My primary remedy was to look for someone or something that would make me feel loved. It's as if I carried around a little heart-shaped cup and extended it to whatever or whomever I percieved might fill it.

 

 

 

Education, will you fill me?

 

Work, will you fill me?

 

People, will you fill me?

 

Material possessions, will you fill me?

 

Within these questions were many more entanglements:

 

Will you right all of my wrongs?

 

Will you fill up my insecurities?

 

Will you make me feel significant?

The more I offered my emptiness, hoping something could fill it, the more frustrated and broken I felt.

 

Have you been there?

 

Maybe your gap wasn't left by friends that hurt you. Maybe your gap is an absent parent, a rough marriage, children you've longed to have. Whatever that gap is, God is the perfect fit for your emptiness, friend.

 

Right now, you may be muddling around in your life, feeling broken and empty; You offer yourself in a multitude of ways to people and in life, and you are still let down. God is the One who can mend that hole, dear friend. When you reach a place of emptiness where the disappointments run deep, you are in the perfect position for a miracle. Why? Because God can make His good come from hard times.

 

"In any and all circumstances, I have learned the secret of being content----whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need, I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me." {Philippians 4:12-13}

 

XoXo, Kess