September 21, 2013

Fill in the Blanks.

Found this list from a fellow blogger this morning, thought it would be fun to do on a monthly basis, if you'd like you can copy the list and join in too :)

Making : An airplane name banner for Henry's nursery.
Cooking : Baking actually. Easy Peanut butter cookies.
Drinking : Coffee, no I haven’t kicked the habit yet. NEVER WILL.
Reading: Desperate by Sally Clarkson & Sally Mae. <3
Wanting: A nap…
Looking: For the perfect leather jacket to wear all of fall.
Playing: With Henry on the floor, as he dumps out DVDs off the entertainment center.
Wasting: Time on Pinterest. Obviously.
 Wishing: I was on vacation with my sweet little family.
Enjoying: the cooler weather, and Hank having the weekend off.
Waiting: For finances to get better.
Liking: TLC's Undercover Boss show :)
Wondering: What to do on this beautiful Saturday.
Loving: Car rides with my little family. Even if its just to the store.
Hoping: To make lasting friendships that will bless my heart, not destroy it.
Marveling: At the power of love.
Needing: A date night. Followed by a girls night.
Smelling: Mary Kay Dance perfume. and the fresh lemon aroma of a clean kitchen :)
Wearing: layers, leggings, boots, beanies, wooooo!
Following: People who make me want to be better.
Noticing: That I’m growing up.
Thinking: About Henry's first birthday coming up in a few months :(
Knowing: That the “list” can wait just a while longer. “Be Here Now”–that’s the goal.
Focusing: On the kindness and LOVE found within people in my life.
Bookmarking: Fall projects and recipes.
Opening: A blueberry pancake mix for breakfast :)
Giggling: About Henry and Ernie playing tug-a-war
Feeling: Humbled. Hopeful.

Xoxo, Kess

September 18, 2013

Having Plenty in your time of Need.

Yesterday afternoon, Henry took a lengthy nap due to not feeling well. When he naps, it's usually my rush hour to catch up on laundry, dishes, or anything little hands can't get into! But yesterday, I just took a breather. I sat in my recliner, bible in hand, searching for an encouraging word to lift me up. Just then my mom called on the phone and told me this verse was for me:

Philippians 4:12-13

"12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

There is so much truth in the entirety of this passage for me lately. Since about the middle of June, we have been playing catch up with life and all the expenses that comes with it. (Babies cost a pretty penny, but they are worth EVERY SINGLE CENT.) We have been barely getting by in order to pay off big chunks of debts we have, and it has been beyond extremely tight. It has worn on us everyday all day for months now, but things are finally looking attainable. All the while trying to maintain trust and faith in God and His plan. I'd be lying if I said that I've had a positive, trusting attitude the whole time during this hard season. There were times of anger, doubt, and downright despair. But yet, there were also times of trust, hope, and counting of blessings. I think that's what strengthens your relationship in Christ altogether. You would never know blessings if you didn't know struggles, you wouldn't know happy if you didn't know sadness, you wouldn't know the greatness of a life in God if you didn't know God in life before. For that, I can surely say I'd take any struggle, as long as I can do hard things through HIM who STRENGTHENS ME. Even in this hard season, as much hardships as there were, it made every little blessing stand out so visibly to me. Like the time an older woman saw me at church crying and came and put her arm around me, Henry's smiles, new budding friendships, all those things were standing out so much and gave me extra gratitude.

This song and verse go along with this so perfectly, so click the link and look it up if you'd like:

Laura Story-Blessings
Psalm 27:13

What about you? Have you known being in true need? Have you had plenty?

What have you learned from both?

XOXO, Kess

September 13, 2013


...I guess that's the best word to fit the title for this post right about now. I am truly lost in my life. a loss with time a loss with patience a loss with hope a loss as a wife a loss with finances a loss with relationships

just, lost.

Lately, I really haven't been "me". I feel as if my usual "positive, cheerful, friendly, smiling" self is of the past, and I look at the mirror and think, "Where has that girl gone?" "Where is Kessie?"

To be honest, I don't know, and it saddens me.

I feel like life has been repeatedly been wearing on me, and little by little the smiles have been wearing off as well. I feel as if women are supposed to be the strong, firm, steady constant; we have this perception that we are supposed to nurture and love with our full hearts. As much as that is my passion, I feel like my heart has been running on empty, and just as a car, when running on empty things wear and fall apart, and bigger problems arise.

I'm stressed.

I'm sad.

I'm drained. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

I don't know how I can fight this battle much longer with no ammo. Goodness, just typing this I'm annoyed at my bitter, cynical self :(

This isn't me.

I need to find me.


September 1, 2013

Happy Fall Y'all.

September 1st, it is so so great to see you. I don't know how all of y'all feel, but for me, this summer just sped right on past us this year. I feel like summer started, the next day was the 4th of July, then the next day was the first day of school. Did it feel that quick to you?? Although summer is pretty fun, I have been anticipating fall; it's my favorite season.

I have lived in Boise for 3 years now, and I cannot begin to tell you why I love fall here THAT much more. The treasure valley with the crisp autumn air and the city of trees decorated with golds, reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows is pure beauty at its finest. The good Lord knew what he was doing with fall :) It's gorgeous. Oh, and I must also admit that I'm more of a leggings, scarf, and boots kind of gal. My husband loves September too; it's so funny how hyped he gets about the month.

Things have been pretty up and down for us pretty recently. Extreme financial stresses with bills, baby expenses/hospital bill, refrigerator almost going out, sharing one car temporarily, life has pushed us to our breaking points. It's been a rather stressful summer. But just as there are seasons of weather, there are seasons in our lives. Moods and situations will wax and wane, but I truly aspire to put my heart and faith in God and His words of promise during any season. Even when it's hard. Even when it's hopeless. Even when it's desperate. Because He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He loves His children and promises to always provide...and you know what, sometimes it's not in the way you think He will/should. Sometimes it's not in the timing you want. But His plan is always best, and I can humbly look at my life and see that apply numerous times.

I'm excited for this change of weather, and as well as my change of heart on my situations. This whole summer, I've had an aching, uncontrollable,heavy sigh of anxiety on my heart, and the past two mornings, I've woken up with complete peace in my heart. Like I mentioned earlier, our refrigerator went out yesterday while making dinner, and rather then getting hot in fury, rather then losing my temper, I immediately prayed in my head. "Lord, take this stress." "Lord, I know you need me to trust, help me trust." "God, reveal your plan with this to me." Needless to say, it was the breaker switch that had flipped in our garage, a relief of an easy fix. God revealed to me something that was beyond the fridge, beyond the stress, and simply spoke to my heart. In that "ah-ha!" moment, I realized I had not given God my entirety of faith in Him. I realized to change my heart and be positive in Him, and just as I changed my heart, He showed me it was a lesson.  Isn't He a wonder? ♥

Gosh, fall, the fridge, my heart, stress...lawdy this blog post is all over the place, my apologies in advance! But I guess lately my heart and mind have been going all over the place too, so I'll justify it with that ;)

Last night, I got to accompany Hank to work, and I can honestly say I am so profoundly proud of my husband. To see him in such a prestige, professional setting was amazing; I will blog more about my experience on my next post, it was wonderful! Henry is my 8 month crazy machine; he is in between being totally mobile and totally dependable, so he's been pretty frustrated with the in between skills. He is so fun though, and his smiles and snuggles tug at my heartstrings. He's my world ♥

Well, sorry for my random rambling. I post a lot about different topics, but today I thought I'd give you a personal update on my life and my little family. Once again, happy fall y'all!

Xoxo, Kess ♥