February 21, 2015


I don't know how to write this post other than in the random sentences of feelings that have jumbled my brain lately. So much has been going on for me, and I haven't found the words to say.

So here's my effort to jot down these thoughts.

I am 23, almost 24.

Wow, that scares me.

The older I got, the more confident and sure of myself I thought I'd become.

That is far from how I feel.

In fact, it terrifies me.

I feel as if life is racing, in fact, whirling by me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I've never felt this unsure or attached from myself.

I've never felt this scared or anxious.

I've grown weary and hopeless in the thought of finding a "career" and actually "loving it" and being "successful" at it.

I've grown depressed in the fact that I do not love myself, and there are very little things I like about myself.

I'm scared that I am slowly losing myself.

I'm secretly scared I will not ever have the opportunity of more children.

I'm just....living....scared.

xoxo, kess

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