May 6, 2013


Lately I feel its been easier to just act on my emotions rather than justify them.

Its easier to cry rather than understand the reasons why I am sad.

I feel tired, empty, and lack motivation.

I'm tired of feeling in general actually.

For the longest time I've been hypersensitive with my heart, which can be a good thing, but can also create a problem that isn't there.

I don't want to be depressed and lose these days, robbed of the joy I can be having.

But then I think of how similiar that is with nature. We see life and beauty in the spring and the appearance of death in the winter. Yet in the time of darkness is when the roots of all plants, trees, and flowers are growing deeper.

So maybe in the most challenging and saddest of times is when my soul will grow the most.

Maybe I will develop more compassion, humility,  understanding,  and wisdom.

Maybe I just need to rest, rest in God's love and rest in this season, knowing it won't last forever.

Right now I just feel broken.

I feel everything and nothing at once.

And right now, I need assurance that I'm not nothing. Because I just can't seem to convince myself otherwise.

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