September 13, 2013


...I guess that's the best word to fit the title for this post right about now. I am truly lost in my life. a loss with time a loss with patience a loss with hope a loss as a wife a loss with finances a loss with relationships

just, lost.

Lately, I really haven't been "me". I feel as if my usual "positive, cheerful, friendly, smiling" self is of the past, and I look at the mirror and think, "Where has that girl gone?" "Where is Kessie?"

To be honest, I don't know, and it saddens me.

I feel like life has been repeatedly been wearing on me, and little by little the smiles have been wearing off as well. I feel as if women are supposed to be the strong, firm, steady constant; we have this perception that we are supposed to nurture and love with our full hearts. As much as that is my passion, I feel like my heart has been running on empty, and just as a car, when running on empty things wear and fall apart, and bigger problems arise.

I'm stressed.

I'm sad.

I'm drained. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

I don't know how I can fight this battle much longer with no ammo. Goodness, just typing this I'm annoyed at my bitter, cynical self :(

This isn't me.

I need to find me.


1 comment:

  1. I have faith in you Kess. Everyone goes through trials and you are strong enough to make it through this one! You have an amazing husband and amazing little boy that both love you! You also have good friends:) Which by the way I'll be in Boise in a few weeks:) Keep strong sister! Love you!