May 22, 2014

Dare to NOT compare.

This generation has a HUGE hole.

A gap so vast and grand, how could you not fall into its trap??


With all the social medias and technology apps we have access to defining others.

Every like,

Every comment.

It's created a dependency on the approval of others.

We determine our worth on our number of friends, their opinions on the photos we post, and allow room for their criticisms in most areas of our lives, at least the ones we choose to share with everyone.

The last time I had my Facebook account was in Nov 2012, and I still can remember clearly the feelings I would feel scrolling through my feed.

"Wow, they had a baby. How wonderful. She's so cute and put together, I want to have that. I wonder when I will have that."

"Wow, she is in such great shape. I'm not in great shape. Ugh, I need to get in great shape."

"Look at that couple. Gosh, you can just tell he still adores her. and on their five year anniversary? How do they still have that newlywed bliss??"

This went on and on the more I scrolled, and deep overwhelming feelings came over me. Were they all really that happy or were they just out to prove that they were out of fear of rejection from not having it all together?

Maybe, just maybe, I didn't have a peer into what all lead into that photo.

That mom with a new baby? It's her first day put together, and she's proud of finally being put together and done up. It took her several clicks to finally get a smiling picture of her baby, who indeed was cranky that day and to her relief got a smiling one between the fuss. 

That friend in great shape? She's learning to take care of herself, trying to love herself. Striving to be healthy and confident in herself, and is learning that exercise and being healthy is a great outlet for that process. She's excited, and she's wanting to share it with you.

That couple? They just got out of a rough patch, and they are working things out for the sake of putting their spouse first, just as they vowed. It took all their strength throughout this hard season to take a photo together on their anniversary. They are taking baby steps to reconnect and love that person who loves them, no filter, no status and all.

I secretly wish I could go back to a simpler era. A time before  7000 "friends" could follow and like at their disposal.

A time before logging on and getting a high off a false sense of security and appreciation.

 A time before valuing worth based on comments and inbox messages filled with colorful words with no depth.

A time where you spent time with the people who love your face "filter free". Those people now seem to become an option at the sacrifice of the rest of the world who just sees what you project become the priority.

We are lost, quite frankly. So susceptible and insecure in the pressure of it all.

There is a quote from Just Married that has resonated with me since the first time I watched it and heard it, and it follows this so well.

 "Some days your mother and me loved each other. Other days we had to work at it. You never see the hard days in a photo album... but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next. I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk but that's what you got dealt. Now you gotta work through it. Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy. I saw how you love this girl. How you two lit each other up. She doesn't need anymore security than that. "

(My favorite part of that) ---> "You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snap shot to the next."

Take hope in that friend,

...and take rest in that, too. 

Dare to NOT compare. 

Dare to live in your life. The hard, the good, the bad, the messy, the blissful.

Dare to go through your day being IN your day. Not worrying about a good Instagram photo opportunity, or putting together the perfect outfit in case you run into someone.


XOXO, Kess

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