February 20, 2013

Finding Triumph in your Trials.

"Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children." -Lamentations 2:19
I sit here in my recliner, Ernie in my lap, and Henry in my arms, rocking rhythmically to Dixie Chicks in the background. Henry fusses, then continues sucking his binky as he tries to drift off to sleep. I sip from my cup what would be my fourth cup of coffee, and brush my messy bedhead from my face. It has yet again been a long, exhausting, sleepless night.
Henry was just getting into a routine, and it was going great. We were figuring out a little pattern during the day, feedings, changings, alert time, naps, followed by the long night stretch of sleep. I felt as if I had succeeded, and we had finally climbed to the peak. Then, just as I reach for that last glorious step, I get knocked down, and barrel roll down to the very bottom once more.
I was so close.
Henry and I have thrush for the second time, and he has had colic episodes for weeks now. I know I've only had the position of a mommy for 8weeks, but I definitely have learned some things. It's the best of jobs. It's the most difficult of jobs. It can bring you the greatest joy. It can bring you the greatest stress. There is nothing as fulfilling and exhilarating. There's nothing so depleting and exhausting. No area of your life can make you feel more like a success when everything is going well, and no area of your life can make you feel more like a failure when things go wrong.
Just when I think the terrain is too treacherous, I remember something.
My child's life doesn't have to be left to chance. I will not have to do it all on my own strength, but rather I can turn to the expert parent of all time, GOD, for help. My heart's weight is lifted.
Although I've had a lot of difficulty thrown my direction, I can stand firm in this. I will remain a positive light throughout this. Maybe, just maybe, this hardship is so I can be a Christ-like example; I can show my positivity and faith throughout this. This reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite authors:
"Only God can turn your mess into your message, your trials into triumph, a victim into victory, and a test into your testimony." -Joyce Meyer
I am in the perfect situation to complain.
to throw in the towel.
to grovel and whine.
to give up.
But I will stand firm.
I will remain positive, and keep a God-driven, loving heart. That is what I am called to do, whether or not things are in my favor. God, I have two options.
Complain and remain.
Praise and be raised.
I choose option 2. I will praise you in this storm, for even though things are a mess, I look at my life and see a multitude of blessings.
I can do this.
...for I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.