September 9, 2014

Jesus, take the wheel.

Have you ever felt like you have been running on empty, things all around you falling apart, day in and day out kind of rut??

I have.

...and for weeks.

Weeks that have been days of Henry's early hints of terrible twos, messy house, irritated attitude, and no motivation. I just felt like Charlie Brown with the little rain cloud overhead that follows you around everywhere.

I'm usually a happy one, and people count on that.

So do I.

But happy people get sad too.

These past few weeks I've been overwhelmed.

Sad for nothing, sad for everything.

From anxiety to heartache,

 stressing at other's suffering,

 discouragement to not meeting other's needs,

running around like a chicken with it's head cut off,

running late to everything,

texts or calls I forgot to return,

 trying to be a present parent,

irritability and lack of patience with people,

unmotivated to cook or clean,

to feeling isolated and missing the support system of family and friends,

 to being paralyzed by my own standards of perfectionism and indecision on every level,

and honestly, just not feeling pretty or good about myself.

oh, and writer's block.

it was UGLY.

So much "wahh-wahh" right there but that's what is real.

So today, during my morning run, I prayed, and instantly, His peace settled into my soul.  I prayed and asked God to bless my week. I asked Him to help me with my stress and anxiety, to shut doors that I don't need to walk through (anyone else have a problem saying no?) and guide me down the path most useful to HIM.  I heard God speaking truth my heart needed to hear, and felt his covering of grace I needed to feel.

So glad I woke up to run. So glad I tried. So glad I prayed.

Do you ever get so caught up in life that you forget to take a step back and ask God for help??

I'm embarrassed to say that it took me an entire week to realize that I hadn't given ANY of my stress and anxiety to God.

My faith isn't perfect but it's good. I don't always understand God's plan but I'm trying to be like Him. I love Him and know he is with me through this. I've got restored and renewed hope.

I know my perfectionism makes me wait for the most amazing way to do something and then over thinking it and then crumbling under pressure and doing nothing out of self-discourage.

So I am going to press on, knowing I'm at the mercy of Jesus.

Sometimes social media and such wears me down, but yet then it can fill me back up.

I'm glad to have this space to share with you, friend.

When you're discouraged, I hope I'm the person that can fill your spirits when you need it.

Cause I know my heart soaks up encouragement from friends and family like a sponge in the hard times.

Today has been one of the brighter days for me.

 It's no wonder this day was so much better then any of my days the last week or so! When we throw our hands in the air and ask Jesus to take the wheel, our ride is so so, SO much smoother.

// "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7 \\

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing your heart �� needed the encouraging words and honesty Praying Gods blessings over you and your family ��