April 11, 2013

Dear Kessie ♥

(If I could go back and write a letter to me)

Dear Self,

You’re 14. You have zits on your nose, an awkward string bean figure, and a metal mouth. You eat cookie dough right out of the package and you don’t care yet what it will do to your thighs. If I could take you out for coffee (well, maybe ice cream–you won’t start drinking coffee for a few more years) there are some things I’d say to you. First of all, it doesn’t matter that you’re not popular. I know you cry hard and tear yourself down, just like the people around you. I know you stare longingly at the cool kids table at lunch sometimes. I know you’ve heard a snicker or two when you walk by certain groups in the halls. I know how you stand in front of the mirror and tilt your head from one side to the other hoping the reflection improves. By not being popular you’re actually learning some pretty important things, Kess–how to love all kinds of people, how to have a tender heart for those on the outskirts, how to dream and explore instead of conform and confine. Your creativity is growing, although you can’t see it yet, and you’re not cool enough to want to crush it. Your older self thanks you. Also, you don’t have to try so hard. I know you want to get it right–the grades, the friends, the conversations by the locker. And when you don’t, you’re really tough on yourself. You are your own worst critic. Slow down, girl. Take a deep breath of grace. You haven’t quite figured this out yet…you’re human. You are going to mess up a lot. And it’s going to be okay. People want the real you–not the perfect good girl you think you have to be. You’re going to grow up and it’s going to fly by. You’ll trade that scooter for a car. Your t-shirts for pretty blouses. Your diary entries about boys for a real live husband and son. It will be good and hard and beautiful and like nothing and everything you imagined. You have time to get there. Savor the moments. Hold on to today. Don’t wish away the now for the not yet.Worry less. Laugh more. Stay up late while you can. Embrace grace and the Giver of it. Most of all, dare to be He who made you. You’re going to turn out just fine. 

Love, Me ♥

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