To my angel, my Grandma.

It was a Wednesday.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

November 26th is etched in my memory.

Kyllie, Cody, Hank, Henry, Mom, Dad, Kolby, and Kade were all at my family's house, each of us prepping the big feast. Since most of us worked Thanksgiving evening some time, we decided to do our dinner together on Wednesday. (Kaitlyn & Kamron couldn't make it). Mom and I set out an ornament wreath we had made you and Sharonie, and were putting last minute things together and in the ovens. I remember so vividly that morning talking with my mother about the things she remembered about her grandma growing up, and I was telling her the things I remember about you. I brought up the way you read to me, with such narration and joy, and the particular book that was my absolute favorite for you to read to me over and over again. Mom told me she thought she had the book downstairs, and I planned on setting it out to hear you read it once more, this time to Henry. It was 1:30, you and Grandpa along with Sharonie were supposed to be arriving at two.

Then Mom's phone rang.

Just thinking about that phone call sends a deep chill of sorrow down my spine.

It's something I will never ever forget.

At first I was thinking it was my Grandpa simply telling Mom that you all were running late, or simply just were too tired to come out today.

No, it was much much worse.

Mom shrieked in pure panic, pacing and crying out.

"NO NO NO. DAD. NO, OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. NO. WHAT HAPPENED?"

She ran to her room.

Kyllie and I instantly panicked, and bolted into her room. Mom was on the phone in her closet, clutching her hands and sobbing. We didn't know what she had been informed with, but we sat as close by as we could.

We then heard the news.

You had gone, Grandma.

I remember being hit with a wave of hysterical sobs, and all of us grasped each other close in our despair. It was as if the world stood still, all time had stopped. I ran out to call my sister, Kaitlyn. I trembled to dial her number, and just about as she was walking into work, she recieved the dreadful news herself.

Her moment of panic set in as well.

The rest is a total blur to me. Something about grief and the way your mind and heart deals with it is truly difficult, but all I remember is taking it so hard as a family. Grandpa came out later to be with us, and we tried to eat. Nobody had appetites. It took all our might to press on. Just like that, in a whirl we were thrown into an occasion without you. To say it was heartbreaking was an understatement.

I held Grandpa's hand for you. Long and hard.

I know he needed it.

Despite his own deep sorrow, he tried to be strong for you.

And for all the people you loved.

He was a rock, comforting everyone there, as well as on the phone calls throughout the evening.

Once again, from here there is more blur in my memory.

and there still is.

My heart is in complete shock.

I feel like you are just going to pull back in your driveway, or I'm going to open my mailbox to find your frequent postcard again.

I listen to your saved voicemails.

I look for any and everything you've given/written me.

I cling on to you, Grandma.

I probably always will.

Grandma, you were such a sincere, special person to me. Every time you told me you loved me, I could tell it wasn't out of habit or to make conversation; you told me because you felt it so genuinely in your heart and you wanted to share your heart with me. You shared your heart of gold. There is not a single thing in your life that you didn't commit to without passion. Your marriage with Grandpa was once in a lifetime. I remember the way you adored each other, respected each other, and truly brought out the best in each other. I remember living with you for a period of time, and once a week, you and Grandpa would dance in the kitchen together. You had 49 years of loyalty and love for each other, and that is truly inspirational. You were an extraordinary teacher. You adapted and harvested a love for learning in each child you taught, and you went beyond the limits of reaching out to make sure that you taught each child in the best way they could learn. At your viewing, I read students letters you had kept over the years. Almost all signed, "I love you Mrs. McCall." Students loved you. How amazing is that? You were an amazing sister. Watching you with your twin sister made me fond of wanting a close bond with my own sisters. You were so protective and affirming of Sharonie, it was the strongest of love. I remember you two showed up so many times all dolled up dressed as a pair; it was adorable to see your day to day routine together. I can't begin to tell you how much she misses you. You were literally a part of her, and that part she loves so so much.

I'll always remember your collection of cooking aprons, and how you wore them whenever you made something. I'll always remember growing up playing restaurant, and you letting us write Grandpa's order down in your aprons. I'll always remember you narrating as Grover, in my favorite book, "The Monster at the End of this Book". I'll always remember when you took us girls with Grandpa to Downeta to camp and swim. I'll always remember the time you thought you had put sparklers on great Grandma Betty's cake, only to find out they were bottle rockets. I'll always remember when you took my friend and I to Lava Hot Springs to celebrate going into junior high. I'll always remember the time we watched an International Dance Festival in Idaho Falls, and how you drove over the median and said "don't tell Grandpa, he's so finicky about cars." I'll always remember having game nights with you, Grandpa, and Hank. We got so good at the game Sequence! I'll always remember you being there to meet Henry the day he was born, and the day I became a mother. I'll always remember you helping me on my wedding day, cutting the cake and dancing. I'll always remember going to your house and watching a Peter Pan musical movie with trail mix. I'll always remember how you helped me bake a cake and surprise my dear friend, Courtney, for her birthday. I'll always remember playing "Hi-Ho Cherry-O!" and "Break-the-Ice" as kids with you. I'll always remember your random cards and phone calls, they were just when I needed them. There's COUNTLESS things I will always remember, because you were so wonderful.

Because of you, I now believe in Angels.

As you would say, "I love you beary much."

I will always dream a little dream of you.

For the rest of my life, I will search for moments full of you.

XOXO, Kess

Grandma and I 

5th Generation Picture. 

GMA & GPA's house, November 2013

Mom & Grandma, my wedding. 2009

GPA and GMA, newlyweds

Cutting & serving my wedding cake, 2009

My favorite book you read to me. 

Holding Grandpa's hand at Thanksgiving dinner, 2014

Grandma's last famous Pretzel Berry Jello Salad

Grandpa with Mom & Jennie

What's up Buttercup?

Hello all.

It's been a while since I've simply gave an update on things, so I thought I'd write a quick slice of life lately.

I seriously cannot believe fall is over. Fall is so magical and uplifting to me, so as bittersweet as I was to see it go, I have accepted the change of the white misty snow. It was so fun to show Henry the snow out the glass doors and front window. I will never forget how he responded. I pointed on the glass to the flakes falling down, and once more to the few inches piling up on the ground, and his response was the cutest.

"Wowwwwww. snow."

I'm so excited to bundle him up and take him sledding and such!

I cannot believe that little miracle will be 2 next month. Honestly I think this birthday will be harder than his first one. The first birthday is this new and exciting territory, a milestone, and something fun to plan. This year I feel as if it's just not time for another birthday already; time has seriously flown :( I love the stage he is at now, as active and hectic as it can be sometimes. He is obsessed with the alphabet, he loves to singularly point them out on signs and books. He amazes me with his growing vocabulary, and the short little phrases he can say. He says please and thank you, and it melts my heart every time. With this weather, I just don't know how I'm going to keep him busy. We are so used to going out and about and parks regularly to burn off some energy! Lately I have found some local childrens play centers (which are awesome, thank you Nampa/Boise!). We frequent Jabbers in Nampa and Jump Time in Meridian a lot. Jabbers is an open play center 10 minutes or so from our house, where they have all sorts of play set up. Grocery store with carts and food, a full furnished house, construction site with trucks and rocks, ride in cars and streets, and more. I love seeing Henry's imagination at work! Jump Time has been a recent discovery of ours as well. It has huge inflatable bounce houses and slides, as well as a foam pit and trampoline floor. He is always worn out to the bone when we leave! I think we will frequent those places a lot during this winter season.

Hank has been doing well too. He works graveyards at the Ada County Dispatch Center, which are currently (4) 10hr days of 7PM-5AM. Since we had our first snow of the season in the treasure valley, he is constantly dealing with high volume calls of traffic/accidents. We both recently got over a nasty cold/deep cough so it's nice to finally be back to ourselves and our routines again.

I've been doing pretty good as well. November 1st marked one year of working at the Coffee Cup restaurant, and I must say things have been pretty good. Some days, my heart just aches to be a stay at home mom again, but I have faith it will happen someday. I recently darkened my hair, and I love it. I thought it would be much more of a shock to me, since I had such blonde hair and for so long, but I instantly loved it! In fact, who knows, maybe I'll go darker next time! In my down time between keeping up with Henry and working, I find myself really enjoying makeup lately. I've always loved learning tricks and watching tutorials; I truly feel like that is my "me time".

I hope all is well for you lovelies, and I will try to be better at updating on what's new :)

XOXO, Kess

What's my Purpose?

Lord I just cry out this prayer to you day in and day out lately.

My heart feels so tattered and broken.

I find myself in complete discouragement and hopelessness, and can't seem to see Your light throughout all this.

I feel like I exhaust myself loving and serving the people You have placed in my life, only to fall short and fail in return. 

Please reaffirm You love me. 

You chose me.

You have purpose for me. 

....and that I am ENOUGH.

Xoxo, Kess

Wordless Wednesday [happy fall y'all]

XOXO, Kess

These are the Days.

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers"

-Anne of Green Gables

Oh Anne with an E, I couldn't agree with you more girlfriend! October is seriously my favorite time of year. I love everything about the fall and I get swept up in the season's magic every year. There is just something about the crunching leaves, pumpkin patches, football games, layered outfits, hunting season, and more that make my heart jitter. 

Last night we did our 2nd year of the family tradition of doing Papa Murphey's Pizza and pumpkins, and we had so much fun. I went and got Henry paint and stickers for his little pumpkin that way he didn't feel left out or bored during the carving process. We laughed, carved, and jammed out to Thriller and monster mash; it was a blast!
 It's crazy for me to think that I am now in the position of creating my child's memories, his childhood stories are unfolding right before my eyes, and I must say that is one of the neatest experiences of motherhood. It also is an experience in which you relieve that childhood magic yourself. For example, a couple days ago Hank and I took Henry costume shopping at the big Halloween store. We took him back into the fitting room to try on an Elmo costume, and he started jumping up and down, clapping his hands, acting silly and showing off to himself in the mirror, and pointing at himself with a huge grin. It was so fun to pick out and try on costumes with my little boy, and I can't wait for him to go out all dressed up for candy. Those are the memories that I look back on and smile about, and it's fun to look down at Henry and smile about him enjoying it.
I truly enjoy being a mama. If there is anything you ever remember about me, I hope this sticks out to you most. "That girl loves her Henry boy so so much, and being his mama makes her so happy." I can't believe what an adventure this motherhood thing has been for me so far, but I've loved every moment I've been fortunate to have it.

XOXO, Kess

My Legacy.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith"
-2 Timothy 4:7

Do you ever wonder what kind of legacy you are going to leave behind?

When I think of legacies, it brought me to read about the apostle Paul in my bible, and the heart of Paul as he wrote a letter to Timothy. Paul had expanded himself in the service of Christ, and had a sense that he was nearing the end of his life. We know from his other writings in scripture that he was not afraid of death. In fact, he stated that if he were absent from his body, then he would be present with the Lord (1 Corinthians 5:3) Paul knew that the Resurrection had defeated the sting of death, and he couldn't wait to be with his Savior.

What really stuck out to my heart as I studied this today was his simple statements about his legacy of life. He had "fought a good fight", "finished the race" and "kept the faith". I thought about how Paul fought the good fight by standing firm as a spiritual warrior, faithfully defending the Gospel, clothed in the armor of God. I thought about how he finished the race by ensuring he was not disheartened in the marathon of of live and the ministry of Jesus. Most importantly, how he kept the faith, remaining true, commited, and loyal to the One who rescued us all from the darkness.

I came to notice how I loved things that Paul did NOT hint or mention as well. The places he had traveled, the people he had preached to, the letters he wrote, or the churches he flourished. I think he wanted his legacy to be flat out labeled "faithful". I love that; It's what I want to aspire to be as a follower of Jesus.

So today I asked myself, "If that's the legacy I want to leave behind, how will I pursue it today?" I need to put on my full armour of God each morning, I need to run the race, leaving all hinders and sins that entangle me behind. Most importantly, in every situation I want my attitudes, my words, and my actions to be loyal and true to Jesus. 

I am going to work on my legacy one day at a time, one decision at a time. I long to hear the words,
"Well done, my good and faithful servant. Welcome home."

XOXO, Kess

A few of my favorite things. *vol 2*

Hi there :)

Can't believe it's already time for me to post a new month's list of favorite things. If you are new to these posts of mine, let me explain a little. This is my second favorite things post, and the list is a few products/items and such that I've tried and have been enjoying, and want to share them with you as well so that you may try and enjoy them too :) If you want to see my first favorite things post, click here:
 August Edition, Vol 1

Okay, let's get started, shall we?!

1. Fringe Clutch
Fringe is all the rave lately, and perfect for the transition into fall. I have love seeing the different pieces with fringe detail, and to my surprise I found this brand new at Saver's (local thrift store) I love it. It's an easy bag to throw just keys and a wallet into, and easy to take in and out of a diaper bag depending on if my little is coming along :) I've seen similar bags/clutches at Rue 21, Target, and Kmart. Pick one up, they're so fun.

2. Girls Funds Graphic Tee
Graphic Tees....need I say more?! Goodness, I'm a sucker for them. They are so transitional and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion or look you prefer. Classic w/ jeans, under a blazer, tucked into a skirt, under a leather bomber jacket, the possibilities are endless! May I also add I love me a good pun? Haha. If I think of one I sometimes will create a shirt myself to say what I want it too. I saw this at Target, and it has a longer back which I love in a shirt. I believe it was $15. I wear it tons!

3. Boho Statement Necklace
Yes, I know my last post had some statement necklaces too, but hey this is a different one. I really have been liking the look of chunky silver bohemian necklaces with a simple top. Very edgy, and polished; I love a clean easy look! This one was a steal from Rue 21 (almost all my necklaces I pick up there for cheap) and it is a staple for many outfits. I believe it was $7.

4. Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner
Can I just tell you that I loathe eyeliner?!! Now don't get me wrong, I love to wear it. The thing that drives me crazy about it is putting it on fresh, and either it smearing down along my waterline, or wearing off soon after application. I've searched high and low for a good long lasting one, and a friend of mine recommended this. I don't know how I never tried this magical stuff, I love Revlon and especially it's colorstay line. This one passes the test ladies, if you don't take anything from this post other than this eyeliner I will still be happy as heck :) It's that good. Lasts all day and stays on your lids, no smears! So no more people asking if you've cried or to go wipe under your eyes girls!

5. Rue 21 Tropadelic Fragrance
Normally I am not drawn to any fragrance with "tropical hints". I feel as if that pina colada, fruity nonsense gives me a headache, and comes off too strong. When I tried out this scent in the store, I was hesitant, but I was pleasantly surprised! I can't exactly remember what different elements are in it, but from what I recall the associate told me it had subtle hints of mango, along with passion fruit and star fruit, along with a musk of grapefruit. It's sweet, and a pop of fun, but nothing too intense. I'm happy to have a new perfume for $10!

6. Mossimo Fringe Ankle Booties
Do you see a pattern with this fringe obsession? Haha, sorry not sorry! I was in Target the other day with Henry, and these beauties just popped off the shelf to me. I have been on the hunt for some ankle boots, and I've searched boots w/ fringe on pinterest for months; these boots were perfect! Can't wait to pair them up with some cuffed or rolled up jeans on the chilly days ahead.

7. Lavender & Chamomile Bubble Bath
Cheapest purchase yet, but I'm in love! I scored this at the Dollar Tree believe it or not, and it's wonderful! I love the Eucalyptus Mint Bath products from Bath & Body Works, but I must say I love this stuff too. Nice big bubbles with heavenly essential oil aromas. The fact that it came in a huge bottle and was only a buck is a huge bonus too!

8. Bath & Body Works Fall Collection Candles:
I love B & B works. For reals. Some days I go in with my purse in my car to resist the temptation of buying all things yummy smelling. They recently did a special for all the big 3 wick candles at 2 for $22, which is a total steal! (Each candle is normally $22 a piece, so basically buy 1 get 1 free) I picked out 4 scents: Tailgate (Cinnamon musk/leaves smell) Lemon Mint, Pumpkin Sugared Donuts, and Maple & Seasalt Popcorn. I'm set for the year :)

9. RAD Trucker Hat:
Perfect hat for a quick errand :) I love that it's black and white so it's versatile, and brings more to a typical ponytail. I love it, need I say more?!

I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you have any favs that you've been trying and loving, help a sister out and share them with me! :)

XOXO KESS

A Mood, not a Destination.

Yes, I love One Tree Hill,

and yes, I quote One Tree Hill. 

don't judge me.

It's funny because I've re-watched episodes and seasons of it, and certain things will stick out to me the second time around, and last night this quote hit me. Spoke right to me!

I've totally been guilty of viewing happiness that way. I think we all become accustomed to thinking that way about it. If we meet that person, if our debt is paid off, if we get over this rough season, then just maybe we can be at that place of happiness. I have felt that way at times. Honestly, I am guilty of trying to be a perfectionist. I have this gut feeling that tells me I'm not enough and to try harder, and be better constantly.  So I push and push, strive beyond measure, and then when I'm unhappy I can't reach these unattainable expectations, I break...break hard. I take it so personally, and become irrational about the situation, and it's hard for me to see that. 

For example, let's say Hank and I have a little knit pick argument. Maybe I've had a build up weight of stress from the demands of the day, maybe he has a build up of fatigue and stress from the calls of the night.  I start to think we are arguing because I am wrong, then it unravels to me thinking I'm a bad wife, then to me thinking we are a bad couple, then to me thinking we will never be happy together. I know this sounds so extreme and even silly, trust me, typing it myself I feel silly at the realization of the sound of it, but that's truly how I'm wired to feel in those situations.

I'm learning to detach myself from things. That maybe, just maybe, I'm not to blame for any and every circumstance that will come my way that I don't like, and you know what, it's freeing in a sense. I feel as if teaching myself to think that way, that I can achieve happiness more, just like the quote. To not fly off the handle and ruin the whole day for it. To find happiness in the little things, in many ways.

I don't know if any of these thoughts made any sense, but my scattered blonde head wanted to share them with you today :) May you think of happiness as a mood, not a destination, and find it more often. 

XOXO, Kess

Jesus, take the wheel.

Have you ever felt like you have been running on empty, things all around you falling apart, day in and day out kind of rut??

I have.

...and for weeks.

Weeks that have been days of Henry's early hints of terrible twos, messy house, irritated attitude, and no motivation. I just felt like Charlie Brown with the little rain cloud overhead that follows you around everywhere.

I'm usually a happy one, and people count on that.

So do I.

But happy people get sad too.

These past few weeks I've been overwhelmed.

Sad for nothing, sad for everything.

From anxiety to heartache,

 stressing at other's suffering,

 discouragement to not meeting other's needs,

running around like a chicken with it's head cut off,

running late to everything,

texts or calls I forgot to return,

 trying to be a present parent,

irritability and lack of patience with people,

unmotivated to cook or clean,

to feeling isolated and missing the support system of family and friends,

 to being paralyzed by my own standards of perfectionism and indecision on every level,

and honestly, just not feeling pretty or good about myself.

oh, and writer's block.

it was UGLY.

So much "wahh-wahh" right there but that's what is real.

So today, during my morning run, I prayed, and instantly, His peace settled into my soul.  I prayed and asked God to bless my week. I asked Him to help me with my stress and anxiety, to shut doors that I don't need to walk through (anyone else have a problem saying no?) and guide me down the path most useful to HIM.  I heard God speaking truth my heart needed to hear, and felt his covering of grace I needed to feel.

So glad I woke up to run. So glad I tried. So glad I prayed.

Do you ever get so caught up in life that you forget to take a step back and ask God for help??

I'm embarrassed to say that it took me an entire week to realize that I hadn't given ANY of my stress and anxiety to God.

My faith isn't perfect but it's good. I don't always understand God's plan but I'm trying to be like Him. I love Him and know he is with me through this. I've got restored and renewed hope.

I know my perfectionism makes me wait for the most amazing way to do something and then over thinking it and then crumbling under pressure and doing nothing out of self-discourage.

So I am going to press on, knowing I'm at the mercy of Jesus.

Sometimes social media and such wears me down, but yet then it can fill me back up.

I'm glad to have this space to share with you, friend.

When you're discouraged, I hope I'm the person that can fill your spirits when you need it.

Cause I know my heart soaks up encouragement from friends and family like a sponge in the hard times.

Today has been one of the brighter days for me.

 It's no wonder this day was so much better then any of my days the last week or so! When we throw our hands in the air and ask Jesus to take the wheel, our ride is so so, SO much smoother.

// "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7 \\

A few of my favorite things.

 

Hey there everyone!

Lately I feel as if all my recent posts start off with "it's been a quick minute" or "long time no post", guess that comes with the territory of summer!  We have been so insanely busy with two sisters weddings (bridal shower, reception, rehearsal all x2) camping, family reunions, anniversary, and more! I'm relieved that we just finished the swing of things and we are transitioning into my favorite season, fall.

 

 

Anywho, my post today is actually a post I'm going to try to do on a monthly basis, and I will title it "a few of my favorite things" I am totally one of those people who loves to sit around and listen to people rant and rav about recent things they've tried and loved. If they love it so much, I want to give it a shot, ya know? Well I thought maybe I could pass along some things I've been enjoying too, hopefully they are nice suggestions and you can try them for yourself. xoxo!

 

1. Gold Polka Dot Slip-On Tennis Shoes:

These have been a must have for me. They are super comfy, but chic enough to tie together any outfit. These particular ones are from Old Navy for $12. I've enjoyed dressing them up and down!

 

2. NYX Liquid Illuminator:

This stuff, oh my word. So I've been on the hunt for the perfect highlighter/illuminator for my makeup routine, and quite frankly, everything has seemed too blotchy/streaky or too expensive.  I bought this on a whim at Ulta (I believe it was $8) and sure enough, I love it. Gives your cheekbones a chiseled glow; it comes in two shades, a Rose color (pinkish tint) or Sun Beam (coral gold). I bought the Sun Beam color, and it's definitely going to be a go to from now on!

 

3. Heart-Shaped Sunnies:

Okay, a little back story on these. So I have wanted a pair for several months, and when I finally pulled the trigger, I bought some for quite the deal on eBay. BAD IDEA. They took 3 weeks to get here, came in blue instead of brown, then I paid the shipping for them to send me the correct ones, then they sent me bright red after an additional 3 weeks....ugh. Finally I just asked for a return haha. Anyways, I snatched these up at American Eagle for $10 and I just love them. Perfect shape, perfect tint. I love the retro chic look to them as well. My sister Kaitlyn has the exact pair, she did it right the first time ;)

 

4. Oversized Slouchy Tee:

I could live in this thing day in and day out. No joke, I'm always washing and hanging this thing to wear. I got it at Deb on clearance for $3 and I wish I would have bought them all haha! I love how it drapes, and how the back is gradually longer.  It's fun to dress up with a statement necklace and colored denim, over just to throw on with jeans and converse for a quick outing. Go get some, they are perfect!

 

5. Hawaiian Tropic Shimmering Effect Lotion:

This is probably my favorite item in this post. I can't remember the price on this but I'm certain it was under $10. This lotion rocks! It highlights your natural skin tone, and has a beautiful golden bronze shimmer in it. Can't help but love the coconut papaya scent either! The shimmer is gorgeous and suble, rather than looking like an 8 year old that just dumped glitter, its very pretty. I love it!

 

6. Urban Decay Naked 2 Eyeshadow Palette:

Can you tell I love makeup?? I am not the best at it, but I tell you what, I love to learn tricks and play with new products. I splurged on this kit, and I tell you what, its honestly worth every penny. (which unfortunately it is a lot of pennies, but worth it!) It has gorgeous neutrals, shimmers, and smokey eye potential, and I truly notice a difference in the quality of the color and it's long lasting effect. Go get one!

 

7. Scentsationals (walmart) brand scentsies:

At first I really didn't like the Wal-mart brand scentsy bars, I felt they had limited kinds, and didn't last at all. Even if you used three or four squares! They've came a long way, and recently I've enjoyed their "warm apple pie" and "coffee cake swirl" flavors.

 

8. Statement Necklaces:

Anyone knows a statement necklace polishes an outfit, and they are so unique! Both of these I have found at Rue 21, both on clearance for $3!! I love their selection. They have all sorts of looks, bohemian, rocker, and vintage styles. They are perfect, and inexpensive!

 

9. Black Pencil Skirt:

Another must have basic for your closet. This particular one is from Rue 21, and I always go to it! My all time favorite look is a graphic tee, black pencil skirt, and either heels or converse. This one is seriously so comfortable and stretchy, and flattering for all!

 

I hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope you are enjoying these last couple weeks of summer!

 

Xoxo, Kess

 

 

Upstream.

My life has been somewhat exhausting lately. I have this image in my head of a fish persisting to swim upstream; it's how I feel. I feel like from the minute I wake up in the morning to the second I close my eyes at night to rest, that I am swimming against a strong current of chaos and frustration, and it seems as if I try to rest afloat for a moment, I just might drown.

Every season in life is so different, and this one has been quite the challenge. Henry is constantly destructing and on the verge of an owwie waiting to happen, and saying no repeatedly doesn't seem to cut it. Hank and I have our own rough patch lately, and with little to no time in our schedule to communicate, it makes things difficult. I feel like my brain is so jam packed with demands, the demands of a toddler's extensive caretaking, (which I love, truly. Just exhausting and trying at times) the demands of customers repeatedly at work, and even the demands and expectations I put on myself. I came across a quote from a little book written in 1882, and as a part time stay at home mom/part time working mom, it truly inspired and encouraged me.

"When we look at a little child and remember all this, what a dignity surrounds the work of caring for it! Does God give angels any grander work than this? ..But in any work in marble so great as hers who has an immortal life laid in her hands to shape for its destiny? Is the writing of any poem in musical lines so noble a work as the training of a poem of a human soul into harmony?"

Whoa, that hit home. Being a mama, working girl, and caretaker of my home isn't the easiest tasks, but at the same time I'm SO grateful it's mine. It's both the sweetest and the toughest thing I've ever tackled.

Xoxo, Kess

Wordless Wednesday. {Kyllies Alice in Wonderland Bridal Shower}

A whimsy of nonsense, silliness, and chaotic magic. enjoy lovelies. 

Do you suppose she is a wildflower?

The Invite! 

The Mad hatter's tent (with flamingo garland)

Royal Croquet Court

Who R U? Shower Game

Advice journal for Mr. and Mrs. 

Red Dipped Roses. 

The Wonderland photo booth.

Bread and Butterflies (made from toilet paper rolls and paper) 

Welcome to the rabbit hole. 

Whimsical food display

eat me & drink me tea parties pastries and desserts. 

The gift table. 

Don't step on the mome raths!

Love the doorknob detail. 

The 3 sisters. 

Wonderland photo props.

mama, kess, ky, kait

they're stunning, i know <3

#outtakes #sophotogenicright

oh my heart, i love them so <3

kyllie deeann and kessie darae

sunny rays.

so silly!

Special ladies, oh so dear.