Fill in the Blanks. {December}

Making: Henry's 1st Birthday invites.
Cooking: My ultimate oven nachos.
Drinking: A pot of coffee
Reading: Magazines.
Wanting: A change.
Looking: At gifts for others for Christmas.

Playing: With Henry and his bouncy horse
Wasting: Time on Netflix.
Wishing: Things were better.
Enjoying: My new job. And being home with Henry during the week.
Waiting: For respect.
Liking: Nail Polish. I rarely paint my fingernails so this is new to me.

Wondering: If the people I care for truly care for me back.
Loving: Henry's developing personality.
Hoping: For the relationships in my life to be a blessing, not a hinderance.

Marveling: At how Henry is going to be one.
Needing: A date night. Followed by a girls night.
Smelling: Peanut butter cookies in the oven.
Wearing: Husbands comfy clothes.

Following: my son as he terrorizes the house!
Noticing: How freaking cold it is. -9º?? Not okay.
Thinking: Ive lost my grasp on who I am.

Knowing: I have bad luck lately!
Focusing: On the Christmas season.
Bookmarking: Things I need to plan for Henry's party.
Opening: A new bank account, try to contain your excitement haha!
Giggling: At the way Henry looks with his little teeth when he grins.♥
Feeling: Anxious. Alone. Hopeless.

God is rooting for you♥

Fall is in the air and football is on the schedule. My husband and I both have gone to highschool and Boise State games, as well as tune in on college ball.

I’ll confess: I do like football, but I am guilty of scrolling through pinterest between plays haha! So that means my mind does a lot of wandering during the games. 

What I do love about it is seeing all the fans encourage the team. They stand up, holler, cheer, and applaud over every little victory. In every way, they are for the Broncos. {insert your favorite team here}. ;)

Watching those folks cheer gave me a new understanding of what it means that “God is for us” {Rom. 8:31}. 

I can sometimes picture God as waiting for me to make a mistake.

But that is not what it means to be for someone.

Ask any football fan.

When you’re for someone, you want them to win.

When you’re for someone, you watch for what they’re doing well.

When you’re for someone, you cheer them on no matter what happens.

God is for you.

Let that sink in for a minute.It changes everything.

God is not waiting for you to mess up.

He’s rooting for you.

Go, you!

And here’s the best part…With God on your side, you always win.

XOXO Kess♡

Choosing not to be Lonely.

Can I just get honest about something today?

We all have moments when we feel a bit lonely

. 

It's part of being human. We go through different seasons, transitions,moves,changes.

When you find loneliness sneaking up on you, first say this: "Hello, Loneliness. I know you're here to try to convince me that something is wrong with me, and that I am the only one who hangs out with you. But I've figured out your tricks and I know that's not true. So thanks for stopping by, but I've got better things to do than listen to you."

Then pick up the phone, send an email, go to a coffee shop, invite a friend to lunch, hug your kids, sign up for something, text someone--whatever you need to do to connect with another person. Because chances are, loneliness has tried to visit them too. 

When we listen to what loneliness tries to tell us, we withdraw when what we really need to do is reach out. 

The surest way to keep from feeling left out is to let people in.

You may be lonely right now, but you're not alone.

Who can you love on today? 

Xoxo, Kess

Long time, no talk!

Hello friends!

Things have been crazy for Kessie girl lately, so I am warning you that this post may be all over the place, but my friends, MY LIFE has been all over the place, haha! Bear with me lovelies! In fact, maybe I'll do bullet points for my random thoughts!

1. First things first, if most of you didn't know, I had been trying my hand at nannying since September. I started out with one family that ended up just cancelling care out of no where; I had been watching three kids four days a week, and suddenly the mom was getting let go from her job. I then started babysitting a 6week old baby boy, and just two weeks in, they no longer could afford it. So I came to the conclusion that nannying rarely ever works out and is a flaky business. It was discouraging to say the least.

2. I have a job! As of November 1st, I am a waitress at the Nampa Airport Cafe, aka "The Picnic Basket Eatery" I TRULY ENJOY IT! What a blessing. The only disadvantage is working on Hank's days off (weekends) so we have no days off together, but I am off by 3! I totally underestimated the work it takes to be a waitress. WOW. It's so much fun though. The best way to describe the atmosphere is a "ma and pa diner", very small...quaint and comfy, know you by name basis, know your orders, good quality comfort food. It is so much fun, and the novelty of watching planes take off and land as you enjoy a meal is fantastic! I see the most beautiful sunrises every day when I arrive to work; its pure beauty. It's nice to once again be able to provide an income for my little family, yet I get the week to be with my baby. Thank you God!

3. MY BABY IS GOING TO BE ELEVEN MONTHS ON THE 27TH! Holllayyyyyy. Where did that year go?? I know I should be pinteresting and planning his party away, but part of my heart is in denial. What a year. I feel like being a mom is what I've always sought out to be; I was the oldest of five kids so I was used to helping the bunch and picking up the load in mothering haha ;) Henry is my rock. He keeps me grounded, keeps my spirits soaring. I never knew there is a part in your heart awakened when you become a parent, but it truly does. Now that Henry is almost one, people are stirring up the question left and right, "When is the next baby coming? When does Henry get a sibling?" Honestly, I am content for a while. Although I know (God willing) we want more kidlets, I have never been one of those people to put a number on how many, or wanting to plan out the timing between, so on and so forth. For me, I just feel like in the end, it's GOD's plan, and I am submissive to whenever and however He plans out our family for us. I am truly enjoying just Henry's milestones and stages for now:)

4. Holidays are coming up. I wish when everyone thought of the holidays, they would light up with joy. I truly love the Holidays, the way it makes me feel, the spirit of the festivities, the company of family, quality time all together, but it also brings alot of stress. Planning Christmas and Henry's birthday together will be pretty strapped, but we are beyond excited! I have lots of little ideas for our family for the month, such as a Christmas Light date night, 12 Days of Christmas (12 random acts of kindness for other people) and all sorts of stuff. I'm so excited!!

I know this was kind of a choppy post, but I want to wish you all happy days and I hope all is well.

Xoxo, Kess

Beauty in the Breaking.

Today I finally grasped a simple concept.

...the concept that unexpected things are always going to happen in life. I realized that the only control I have is how I choose to handle them. I'm making the decision today to survive it using courage, humor, and of course, His grace. I realized that the choice is mine.

If most of you didn't know already, I am rather on the tender side. I'm sensitive towards expressing my joy, and sensitive when it comes to expressing pain. Both of course, make me cry.

I know I cry a lot and for many things like sad movies, or a bad day, abandoned dreams, or songs that remind me of the past. Stupid things too, like someone's tone towards me, and all the problems I've created for myself in my head. But then I heard a quote from Zooey Deschanel that made me think of crying differently.

"Being tender and open is beautiful. 

As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. 

Too sensitive. 

Too mushy.

 Too wishy washy. 

Blah blah.

 Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. 

Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.

 Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.

Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, 

feel it all – look around you.

 All of this is for you.

 Take it and have gratitude.

 Give it and feel love."

-Zooey Deschanel

The last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly sensitive as life takes its toll: For a while I was constantly suppressing it and getting so angry at myself when I would cry at certain things or feel too much. Then a woman I go to church with was talking about our collective tenderness as women and that it is in our nature to be sensitive because we are nurturers, and we cannot nurture without empathy. I hadn't ever thought of it that way and it has helped me slowly come to terms with my sensitivity.

So here I am admitting that I cry when I am overjoyed. I cry when I'm overwhelmed. I cry when I watch Ellen DeGeneres bless someone in need. I cry in pure joy and awe at the sight of Henry, his laugh, his cuddles, his sweet little spirit. I cry at military coming home pictures, and new babies being born. Sometimes I cry when I am singing in my car and I have this epiphany of my existence and I feel overcome by love for my family, friends, God, and all the goodness that He brings to all of us. If someone cries in front of me, I will cry with them, and for the first time in my life, I am not ashamed of it.

Showing emotion and feeling puts us in a very vulnerable state and all of my reasons for hating it are because of pride. I have wanted to look put together, "tough", strong...and if I let myself fall apart, I cannot appear as such. I have been oppressing the very gift that God has planted in all women: The gift to love and nurture and mourn with those that mourn.

So this is my ode to feeling. I will not beat myself up for it any longer. I will love it because it is my nature and it's everything I am supposed to be.

Have a great weekend friends. If there is anything I can do for you, PLEASE...please let me know. A prayer, a hug, a smile, coffee, friendship, a listening ear...I'm here.

XOXO, Kess

My little pummy-ummy-umpkin.

Have you ever found yourself in a moment that you know is going to make a great memory? Ever found yourself stepping back in delight at something going on, knowing that is going to be a lasting joy you will look back on, knowing those moments are what makes life good?

Last night was one for the books. We had picked out a pumpkin for Henry at the Boise Fire Station's pumpkin patch a couple weekends ago with my sister (which was an amazing amazing weekend), and we finally decided to carve it! Henry was in his highchair holding a baby pumpkin, smiling and watching in pure curiosity as Hank carved the pumpkin and I scooped out the seeds. There were smiles, laughter, visiting, and happiness all around. We had the laptop on the table and had the "Thriller" music video going, as well as "Monster Mash" too, and it was so fun for Hank and I to sing it and be silly, and for Henry to laugh and nod his head and raise his shoulders to the beat!

These are the moments I will cherish with Henry.

These are the moments I will cherish with Hank.

These are the moments I will cherish as a mom.

We then took Henry out on the front porch and began to take his picture. Can I just emphasize how difficult it is to get a picture of a semi-mobile baby?!  Add a pumpkin and neighborhood distraction and you have quite the photoshoot!! There was so many fun pictures, it was hard not to pick just one we liked. So here they are; here are some pictures of the pumpkin patch and Henry's first Halloween pumpkin:

Fill in the Blanks. {October}

OCTOBER:

 

 

Making : A "Happy Fall Y'all" Decoration Banner.

Cooking : Baking actually. Brownies mmmmmmm.

Drinking : A pumpkin spiced frappe would be amazing right now.

Reading: Desperate by Sally Clarkson & Sally Mae. More than half way through <3

Wanting: to get my hair done. Needs it BADLY and it's my favorite thing to do.

Looking: At gifts for others for Christmas.

Playing: With makeup and hair tutorials on YouTube. SO FUN. 

Wasting: Time on Pinterest. Obviously.

 Wishing: I was on vacation with my sweet little family.

Enjoying: Fall, and church.

Waiting: For finances to get better.

Liking: Papa Murphy's new $5 pizzas.

Wondering: What God's purpose for my life is.

Loving: Phone calls from my sisters and mom.

Hoping: To make lasting friendships that will bless my heart, not destroy it.

Marveling: At God's promises.

Needing: A date night. Followed by a girls night.

Smelling: Bleach haha (just bleached my kitchen sink & counters) and my pumpkin candle from Kait:)

Wearing: my tan and black polka dot sweater, black scarf, jeans, and boots.

Following: People who make me want to be better.

Noticing: That time goes by oh so quickly when you have a baby.

Thinking: About how to be a better wife.

Knowing: My own worst critic is myself, need to change that.

Focusing: On letting God live in me and love through me.

Bookmarking: ideas for creating fun childhood memories and traditions for Henry<3

Opening: A new foundation. Such a simple pleasure.

Giggling: At how cute Henry looks with his two bottom teeth poking through :)

Feeling: Humbled. Hopeful.

Dear Weary Mom♥

Dear Weary Mom,

I see how you are dragging through your day,

 worried about tomorrow, and regretful of yesterday.

How there’s an endless to-do list always waiting, one child crying and another yelling.

 How shoes are strewn and toys scattered all over the floor, with the fridge empty and tummies hungry, because there’s not been time for the store.
I see how you want to clock out and run away from it all.
How do I know?

Because I’m living this weary-mama life right alongside you.

I’m in the trenches with you, struggling to prioritize, fighting to seize moments, longing to slow down time, and not lose my own self in the process.

I’m with you, living in the tension of giving, giving, giving, with the desire to be cared for too.

And I’m convinced this tension is the life of a mom … sacrifice and service walking hand in hand with needs and desires. A life-call to be humbled low and laid down, alongside a deep longing to be appreciated and affirmed, upheld and seen.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel fair to live this way … to feel like the giving is emptying us dry.

How often we think we’re too busy for God, concerned we don’t have the perfect quiet time to give. Or feeling it’s not practical in light of the craziness we’re enduring.

But may I encourage you today? :)

You, who are too numb to imagine feeling worthwhile again?

Don’t run away. Run to Him.

Because you’re too desperate to not take the time.

Too empty to not be filled.

Too rundown to not be refreshed.

 

Jesus has come to ease our load.
He humbled Himself low and laid Himself down. He knows.

As we serve, He serves us.

And as we give, He gives us more.

 

And I’m learning more and more, to run to Him.
To sit at His feet. To open His Word and let the words of His love letter soak in–this love letter I so desperately need.

Because He says I’m His.

He says He’s near.

And He says His strength is perfect when my strength is gone.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

In our times of frantic rushing and frazzled trying…

When we long to run away, may we run to Him.

Spend time reading His Word,

Listening for His voice,

And interacting with Him through journaling or prayer.

 

And so today, weary mama, in your run-down, bone-tired moments,

When you’re about to collapse and wave your white flag high in the air,

May you remember to run to Him.

Open His love letter to you.

Read just one verse.

Meditate on one Psalm.

Sing just one song.

Be still and let Him fill your weary heart with truth.

 

The truth that He loves you, and adores you, and thinks you’re doing the most marvelous job.


Sit a while in His love for you. Let Him fill you back up, that you may know His sustaining power for your tasks at hand. That you’d sense His presence and be carried by His strength.

And that you’d be filled up, to be emptied again … this flowing of His perfect plan through you.

XOXO, Kess

 

  

Fill in the Blanks.

Found this list from a fellow blogger this morning, thought it would be fun to do on a monthly basis, if you'd like you can copy the list and join in too :)

SEPTEMBER
Making : An airplane name banner for Henry's nursery.
Cooking : Baking actually. Easy Peanut butter cookies.
Drinking : Coffee, no I haven’t kicked the habit yet. NEVER WILL.
Reading: Desperate by Sally Clarkson & Sally Mae. <3
Wanting: A nap…
Looking: For the perfect leather jacket to wear all of fall.
Playing: With Henry on the floor, as he dumps out DVDs off the entertainment center.
Wasting: Time on Pinterest. Obviously.
 Wishing: I was on vacation with my sweet little family.
Enjoying: the cooler weather, and Hank having the weekend off.
Waiting: For finances to get better.
Liking: TLC's Undercover Boss show :)
Wondering: What to do on this beautiful Saturday.
Loving: Car rides with my little family. Even if its just to the store.
Hoping: To make lasting friendships that will bless my heart, not destroy it.
Marveling: At the power of love.
Needing: A date night. Followed by a girls night.
Smelling: Mary Kay Dance perfume. and the fresh lemon aroma of a clean kitchen :)
Wearing: layers, leggings, boots, beanies, wooooo!
Following: People who make me want to be better.
Noticing: That I’m growing up.
Thinking: About Henry's first birthday coming up in a few months :(
Knowing: That the “list” can wait just a while longer. “Be Here Now”–that’s the goal.
Focusing: On the kindness and LOVE found within people in my life.
Bookmarking: Fall projects and recipes.
Opening: A blueberry pancake mix for breakfast :)
Giggling: About Henry and Ernie playing tug-a-war
Feeling: Humbled. Hopeful.

Xoxo, Kess

Having Plenty in your time of Need.

Yesterday afternoon, Henry took a lengthy nap due to not feeling well. When he naps, it's usually my rush hour to catch up on laundry, dishes, or anything little hands can't get into! But yesterday, I just took a breather. I sat in my recliner, bible in hand, searching for an encouraging word to lift me up. Just then my mom called on the phone and told me this verse was for me:

Philippians 4:12-13

 

^"12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

There is so much truth in the entirety of this passage for me lately. Since about the middle of June, we have been playing catch up with life and all the expenses that comes with it. (Babies cost a pretty penny, but they are worth EVERY SINGLE CENT.) We have been barely getting by in order to pay off big chunks of debts we have, and it has been beyond extremely tight. It has worn on us everyday all day for months now, but things are finally looking attainable. All the while trying to maintain trust and faith in God and His plan. I'd be lying if I said that I've had a positive, trusting attitude the whole time during this hard season. There were times of anger, doubt, and downright despair. But yet, there were also times of trust, hope, and counting of blessings. I think that's what strengthens your relationship in Christ altogether. You would never know blessings if you didn't know struggles, you wouldn't know happy if you didn't know sadness, you wouldn't know the greatness of a life in God if you didn't know God in life before. For that, I can surely say I'd take any struggle, as long as I can do hard things through HIM who STRENGTHENS ME. Even in this hard season, as much hardships as there were, it made every little blessing stand out so visibly to me. Like the time an older woman saw me at church crying and came and put her arm around me, Henry's smiles, new budding friendships, all those things were standing out so much and gave me extra gratitude.

This song and verse go along with this so perfectly, so click the link and look it up if you'd like:

Laura Story-Blessings
Psalm 27:13

What about you? Have you known being in true need? Have you had plenty?

What have you learned from both?



XOXO, Kess

Lost.

...I guess that's the best word to fit the title for this post right about now. I am truly lost in my life.

...at a loss with time

...at a loss with patience

...at a loss with hope

...at a loss as a wife

...at a loss with finances

...at a loss with relationships

just, lost.

Lately, I really haven't been "me". I feel as if my usual "positive, cheerful, friendly, smiling" self is of the past, and I look at the mirror and think, "Where has that girl gone?" "Where is Kessie?"

To be honest, I don't know, and it saddens me.

I feel like life has been repeatedly been wearing on me, and little by little the smiles have been wearing off as well. I feel as if women are supposed to be the strong, firm, steady constant; we have this perception that we are supposed to nurture and love with our full hearts. As much as that is my passion, I feel like my heart has been running on empty, and just as a car, when running on empty things wear and fall apart, and bigger problems arise.

I'm stressed.

I'm sad.

I'm drained. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

I don't know how I can fight this battle much longer with no ammo. Goodness, just typing this I'm annoyed at my bitter, cynical self :(

This isn't me.

I need to find me.

-Kess

Happy Fall Y'all.

September 1st, it is so so great to see you. I don't know how all of y'all feel, but for me, this summer just sped right on past us this year. I feel like summer started, the next day was the 4th of July, then the next day was the first day of school. Did it feel that quick to you?? Although summer is pretty fun, I have been anticipating fall; it's my favorite season.

I have lived in Boise for 3 years now, and I cannot begin to tell you why I love fall here THAT much more. The treasure valley with the crisp autumn air and the city of trees decorated with golds, reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows is pure beauty at its finest. The good Lord knew what he was doing with fall :) It's gorgeous. Oh, and I must also admit that I'm more of a leggings, scarf, and boots kind of gal. My husband loves September too; it's so funny how hyped he gets about the month.

Things have been pretty up and down for us pretty recently. Extreme financial stresses with bills, baby expenses/hospital bill, refrigerator almost going out, sharing one car temporarily, life has pushed us to our breaking points. It's been a rather stressful summer. But just as there are seasons of weather, there are seasons in our lives. Moods and situations will wax and wane, but I truly aspire to put my heart and faith in God and His words of promise during any season. Even when it's hard. Even when it's hopeless. Even when it's desperate. Because He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He loves His children and promises to always provide...and you know what, sometimes it's not in the way you think He will/should. Sometimes it's not in the timing you want. But His plan is always best, and I can humbly look at my life and see that apply numerous times.

I'm excited for this change of weather, and as well as my change of heart on my situations. This whole summer, I've had an aching, uncontrollable,heavy sigh of anxiety on my heart, and the past two mornings, I've woken up with complete peace in my heart. Like I mentioned earlier, our refrigerator went out yesterday while making dinner, and rather then getting hot in fury, rather then losing my temper, I immediately prayed in my head. "Lord, take this stress." "Lord, I know you need me to trust, help me trust." "God, reveal your plan with this to me." Needless to say, it was the breaker switch that had flipped in our garage, a relief of an easy fix. God revealed to me something that was beyond the fridge, beyond the stress, and simply spoke to my heart. In that "ah-ha!" moment, I realized I had not given God my entirety of faith in Him. I realized to change my heart and be positive in Him, and just as I changed my heart, He showed me it was a lesson.  Isn't He a wonder? ♥

Gosh, fall, the fridge, my heart, stress...lawdy this blog post is all over the place, my apologies in advance! But I guess lately my heart and mind have been going all over the place too, so I'll justify it with that ;)

Last night, I got to accompany Hank to work, and I can honestly say I am so profoundly proud of my husband. To see him in such a prestige, professional setting was amazing; I will blog more about my experience on my next post, it was wonderful! Henry is my 8 month crazy machine; he is in between being totally mobile and totally dependable, so he's been pretty frustrated with the in between skills. He is so fun though, and his smiles and snuggles tug at my heartstrings. He's my world ♥

Well, sorry for my random rambling. I post a lot about different topics, but today I thought I'd give you a personal update on my life and my little family. Once again, happy fall y'all!

Xoxo, Kess ♥

Hopeless.

Dear Lord,

I feel a little down today.

My heart is heavy.

Sometimes I get burdened with the things of life, with marriage, with stress, with family, with finances, with myself.

I guess I just need a little affirmation. Please send encouragements to me today.

Let my ears hear your precious words.

Words of life that will fill my heart with hope.

Please use my husband to speak words of peace.

Please use my family and friends to build me up.

It is days such as these that I am reminded how truly vulnerable we are.

Even in my weakness please help me to be an encouragement to someone else today.

You are my strength and my joy. I will trust in You.

Amen ♥

Bittersweet.

This word has been striking around like crazy in my little blonde head lately. The past few weeks have been very overwhelming and stressful for my little family, but although times have been hard, I can still manage a smile and thank God for his immense blessings and love. Lots of things in my life have been BITTERSWEET recently.

Bittersweet waxing and waning of friendships.

Bittersweet milestones and growth in Henry.

Bittersweet financial hardships.

Bittersweet mood swings.

To most of you those may seem simply bitter, and sour with zest and sting. Lately, I've reprogramed my brain to think of the blessing in EVERY thing. Yes it's hard when friends move, lose contact, or such, but they may be fulfilling the next phase God has placed in their life, or in fact maybe God just placed them in MY life temporarily to uplift them or for them to teach me a lesson. Yes it's hard when I look back and see my baby is growing bigger right before my eyes, but I am cherishing every second and grateful for the baby God so graciously sent to me. Yes money has been tighter than I EVER imagined it could be, and keeps me up worrying, but does it make me appreciate when we can buy bread or put a little fuel in the car? Absolutely! Yes it's hard to feel lonely and down, and for old hurts to resurface, but it makes me appreciate every smile, every laugh, every good time I have.

Some times in life you have to taste the bitter to know the sweet. By golly, I have tasted bitter throughout my life through and through; life sometimes seems like one big lemonhead! But the older I get, the more I realize what genuine happiness is, and to grasp and appreciate it for all that it is when I am. Growing up is a beautiful thing :)

Are you having some bitter thrown your way? Is life seeming sour to you?

What helps you get through it?

Wishing you a happy week :)

XOXO, Kess

Anniversary♥

Yesterday was our third anniversary...I can hardly believe it! So much has happened and changed since then, and for the better. When I think of our wedding day, one word boldly comes to mind, CELEBRATION. It truly was one of the best times I've ever had in my life. It was a party; everyone danced and rejoiced, congratulated and hugged, mingled and joked. It was one of those moments in life you wish you could capture and relive over and over.

Our anniversary started off great from the start, because all of us slept in until 10AM...yes 10AM is a luxury with a baby! We got ready and took our friends to the Picnic Basket Café (a little diner that oversees the Nampa Airport, one of our fav go-to spots) They have a little boy named Brantley who is two months younger than Henry, and by goll they are the best of friends you ever did see...so cute! We visited and laughed as the babies threw menus and giggled, then watched the planes fly over us. We went back to the house to gather our swim gear, then headed back into Boise to float the river. Henry went to Brantley's house to be babysat, which was hard for his mommy at first, but he did just great! Floating the river downtown is something Hank and I have always wanted to do since living here, and since we had a babysitter, it was 100 degrees, and Hank had a day off, it was long overdue ;) We floated for about 2 1/2 hrs, relaxing, laughing, enjoying the sun! We picked Henry up, and drove back out to Nampa. When we got home we were so tired from the sun, and Henry was so tired from his playdate, we just took a family power nap! Our neighborhood friend, Tina, had offered to watch Henry so we could go to dinner, so we woke up and got everyone ready to go. It was nice to dress up and go out to a dinner just the two of us. Hank dressed up in a button up shirt, tie, and dress pants, and I wore a black dress with black heels. We felt so fancy! Especially since I am used to old highschool shirts and shorts covered with baby and Hank is always in deputy attire! We went to a local fancy restaurant called Darby's in downtown Nampa, where they gave us a booth in the back. It wasn't very busy, so it was nice to enjoy a low key dinner without all the craze Friday nights out usually have. I texted Tina to see how Henry was doing, and since he was doing great and her 6 kids were having a blast playing with him, she said to enjoy ourselves and not rush back. Across the street from the restaurant was a Ceramics studio I had been to once, and I suggested going with Hank jokingly, and surprisingly he agreed to go! Hank is not the arts and crafts guy by any means, so this came as a shock to me! We picked out a plate, and started painting it together and visiting. It was fun to see Hank enjoy something I really enjoy with me, I think he enjoyed it just as much ;) We painted it with our last name along the edge, and filled the middle with all of our names. It was really fun! We finished it off by picking up Henry and having some ice cream at home together, and exchanging new vows.

 It was a really low key anniversary, which is ideal for us :) It was fun to have lots of one on one time with my husband, and get an actual conversation in between the two of us. I cannot believe we've been married 3 years. He truly is my best friend; I delight in his company. We are going to be those kooky old people that will annoy each other, but yet still love each other to pieces. The happiness I've had since Hank is unreal, and it will just continue to grow as time goes on. It was a great anniversary, and here's to many many more....

xoxo, Kess

A Chat on Friendship.

I grew up always having more guy friends than girl friends. I loved them! They weren’t catty, or dramatic, or jealous, or competitive (at least not with me). They were always doing cool things like skateboarding and listening to rock or making funny videos. And if I’m being completely honest, I felt worth in their attention and adoration.

A funny thing happened when I got married, almost every single one of my guy friends stopped hanging out with me. It was hard on a lot of levels. I didn’t understand it at the time, but it did make some things simpler. It cleared my slate to find some new friends and helped me reconnect with girls that I valued, but lost touch with. I started making a pointed effort to invest time and energy in developing valuable friendships. Even these days I don’t have a ton of friends. “Quality over quantity” is one of my favorite sayings and it rings true when it comes to friends also.

But still, some days I wake up and don’t feel like anyone relates to me. No one understands what I have gone through in my life, or the struggles I am going through now. No one’s calling to check on me, or invite me out of this rut. It’s hard to even write that, it sounds so whiny and ungrateful for all the people I do have in my life, but when thinking of a blog topic to write about, this topic kept coming into my mind.

Maybe it’s to work out a few things I’m going through, or maybe it’s forcing me to reflect on what I can do to build more fulfilling relationships.Either way, when I have one of those days, where I feel down and scared, and I don’t know how to snap out of it, what do you do? I usually start with just being sad: melancholy, mopy, listless! I try to cheer myself up, but somethings just need to run their course. After I’m done with my pity party, I try to think of things I can do. Not just keeping myself busy, but things that have real meaning: writing a letter to someone who’s having a hard time, planning a girls night, and just being the type of friend that I would like to have. Usually within a day or two the tides have changed and I am out of my rut.

But what can I do to stay in a happy place all the time? Is that really even possible? Maybe feeling lonely helps foster deeper gratitude and love for the relationships we do have.  They might not be perfect, in fact, no relationship is perfect because people aren’t perfect, but you have to either be happy for what that person contributes to your life, even with the flaws, and/or work together at improving that relationship so that both parties can feel strengthened and uplifted.

Building on that, I think a big key to building strong friendships is to ask for the things you need. If you need a shoulder to cry on or a quick 4 hour catch up call, ask for it. Take the initiative, your friend might be waiting on the other end of that phone for a good friend to call. Husbands can’t read minds, and sometimes your friends can’t either.

Friends are gifts, but they aren’t a right, you don’t automatically deserve friends, you have to cultivate and care for friendships. You have to swallow your pride, bring down your walls and put yourself out there.

Am I alone? Have you ever felt this way? I would love to hear your thoughts and what you have found works in your life.

Xoxo, Kess ♥

Care Cards.

In the past seven months, I have discovered my life's passion, Motherhood.

 Henry has given my life such exhilaration and my heart such uncontainable joy. The instincts and love that immediately sweeps you up as soon as they are born is indescribable. There is nothing more emotional than being a parent. One moment finds you blessed and proud, the next leaves you drained and overwhelmed. The ups and downs can wreck havoc on your heart, and as a new mom this can be quite daunting and hopeless. So if you are a mommy, mommy to be, or plan on ever being a mommy...know this. Your children don't need to see a supermama. They need to see a mama who needs a super God. I'm learning that being the mama I want to be isn't so much about being more, but believing more; believing and trusting more in the God who sees me, who tends to me, who hears me and answers.

I opened up Henry's baby book today, reminiscing of early memories and learning experiences. To be handed a 7lb fragile, new little life was both wondrous and nerve-wracking.  Of course I love him tremendously, but am I going to be equipped to be the mother God needs me to be?? The first months were stepping stones of learning, and as a new mommy it all seemed so much to grasp. Even though I've only been a mommy 7 months, I can still look back and see I have came a long way. I remember those feelings of fatigue and desperation like it was yesterday. Now I'm not saying everything goes smooth as butter now, but I can look back with a grin at how far I've came on this journey.

I set Henry's book down, and an idea comes to mind.

I search new mom encouragement on Google and do my own little research. An opportunity pops up on my screen.

I've looked into Johnson's Baby website and they recently have kicked off a wonderful campaign. In May, they launched a e-card digital platform helping to brighten the days of deserving moms across the country. On their Facebook page you can create messages of encouragement to new mommas to uplift and reassure them of the wonderful job they are doing. For every Care Card sent, shared or ‘liked’, Johnson's Baby will donate $1.00, which will benefit Save the Children programs such as "Early Steps to School Success", an early childhood education initiative. Pretty neat right??

If you would like to join me in this awesome cause, I've included the link for you to start your own card:

Johnson's Baby Care Cards

Motherhood is not made to go through alone. All of us need some loving words of encouragement or a friend along the way. A happy mom who is secure in herself and at ease in her life is a rare gift that children love and appreciate. I know these care cards would've been such a blessing when Henry was first born, so I cannot wait to send some to a mommy who needs some assurance. I am so excited for this effort, and thought I would pass it along. Have a great week :) remember, be kind to one another.

Xoxo, Kess

BE STILL.

Sometimes, in order to gain some perspective on things, you have to halt for a moment.

Just stop.

Start thinking, think deeper.

After all, you can’t see your reflection in running water, only in still water.

When something is bugging you, sometimes you just gotta be like a water repellant and let the B.S. just drip right off you.

And sometimes… When your mind just can’t comprehend, can’t understand.. When nothing makes sense – that’s when you have to realize that the only way to live your life at peace with yourself and your surroundings is by looking at things through your heart and not your mind.

It's good to be back.

PS, I missed you.

Xoxo, Kess ♥

Wordless Week. {Camping/4thofJuly}

The Tuesday Ten. {vol 6}

For my Tuesday Ten posts, I normally have random pinpoints and ramblings that have nothing to do with each other, just little tidbits that are jolting through my brain at the moment. Every once in a while, I want to switch it up and have the post be about one category with ten things to go along with it. So for this week's Tuesday Ten, I am going to jot down a list of ten things that are simple pleasures I enjoy in life. That list could go on for......................................EVER, but I'll just list ten. :)

Ten Little Things I love in Life:

1. Coffee. Hearing it brew, the aroma and richness, iced on a summery day or in a hot mug snuggled up when its chilly. It's comforting and delicious!

2. Babies. Miracle babies, first born babies, twins, long awaited babies, their smiles, coos, preciousness, tender spirits, and innocent dispositions. What marvelous miracles.

3. Good hair and makeup days... Need I say more?? :)

4. Weddings. The groom's reaction to seeing his bride, the written vows of devotion to one another, the pure beauty and love radiating from the couple, the celebration of it all.

5. Hospitality. Cooking, even when you are full to the brim. Hugs, when you need them most. and a gentle listener and friend.

6. Friendships. The hour long calls of laughs or empathy. The sincere loyalty and compassion for each other. The silly memories of the past. The smiles ahead in the future. New and old.

7. Holidays. The warmth and spirit of Christmas. The patriotism of the Fourth of July. The romance of Valentine's day. The reflection and sacrifice of Easter. The thankfulness and gathering of Thanksgiving. The excitement and silliness of a birthday. The compassion of an anniversary. Love it all.

8. God. His mercy. His grace. His consistency. His promise. His word. His Love. His protection. His goodness. His blessings. His comfort. His plan.

9. Dessert. Especially when stressed, notice how stressed says desserts when spelled backwards?!

10. Sunshine. When it rises. When it sets. Cast over a lake. Peering through the blinds. Shining through a window. Warming up a beach. Radiating from someone's heart ♥

Xoxo happy week,
KESS

Wordless Week. {Father's Day}